Step by step commentary on Bethel Church’s pandemonium teaching.
23. In Abi Stumvoll Critique 4: Returning Bethelites to Neverland in a DeLorean Time-Machine, Abi Stumvoll is back at Bethel in Redding, California, claiming “God” has told her she is to return to being a child and never has to grow up, and “God” invites the Bethelites to do the same. So I look into her claims in light of her childhood trauma, cast a glance at Michael Jackson, look at the effects of nostalgia on people, and consider why Abi has pimped out her nostalgia ride with a Flux Capacitor.
22: The Bethel Mary Poppins Church Lady explains how she inadvertently wants her son to grow up and be the Antichrist! It’s a bizarre film I found early on in Bethel.TV’s Youtube channel catalogue wherein the saccharine sweet Mary Poppins-like lady shares her hopes about who her son will be, hoping HIGHLY specifically that he’ll “be the one to negotiate the FINAL peace treaty between Israel and the Palestinians.” I take a look biblically who achieves such a thing -the “man of sin”/the “lawless one” also known as the Antichrist- which in all demonstrates a quite profound inability on the lady’s part to understand the Bible, and gives insight into Bethel itself as this fool video has been online for several years.
21: Bill Johnson waffles about what he thinks happens when your ministry is attacked. He fails, obviously, to point out the difference between an attack against a valid Christian ministry, and an invalid one like Bethel is, then he rambles about speaking on the phone to Rick Joyner (whose literature I take a look at). Both Johnson and Joyner anointed Todd Bentley as a person greater than Moses (!!!!!!!!), so I look at the video of the lunatic anointing session that happened before it became apparent Bentley was a criminally convicted homosexual pedophile, something ‘Dave’ pointed out rather comprehensively discredits every single person in the anointing ‘coronation’.
20: Bill Johnson teaches the Bethelites that God cannot give away sickness because He doesn’t have sickness. This is despite God striking all Egypt with illness, King Herod with worms, and Zechariah with dumbness. Johnson also claims Jesus just hid somewhere whenever things got tough for the disciples. Barmy beliefs, all, like usual, not lining up with Scripture. Kris Vallotton, Johnson’s 2nd in command at Bethel, turns up and overturns his master’s position through relating a family experience.
Additionally Johnson quotes Yonggi Cho, the Korean financial huckster and false teacher.
19: Abi Stumvoll teaches again at Bethel Church in Redding, California, again promoting other false teachers. This time she quotes the author of ‘The Shack’ William Paul Young, by working through his 12 phrases he believes are “Words You Will Never Hear God Say”. The video critiques each view and compares them to what the Bible actually teaches.
18: A 2nd critique of Bethel’s Abi Stumvoll, in which she descends into greater false teaching than before, assuring the Bethelites that if God says anything that you don’t like (i.e. that you are wrong about something like He does in the Bible continually) then that’s proof in itself that it is NOT the voice of God. Unparalleled deception from Abi, who appears to be an expert in Bible cluelessness.
17: A real oddity this. Donta Nelson (in darkness, fittingly in Bethel Church in Redding, California) recites a poem with passion about becoming a friend with God, mangling Scripture along the way, and concluding that he still hasn’t become a friend with God. The goats applaud. Exit Donta stage right:
16: Paul Manwaring asked God to give him assurance he should go to Bethel. “God” gave him a verse that says Abram went to Bethel, so Paul went to Bethel, and has this evidence of “God” speaking to him. Trouble is the verse he cited says clearly Abram DIDN’T go to Bethel. Oops!
15: Abi Stumvoll teaches Bethelites in Redding, California, how to know God is with you, using the teaching of Graham Cooke (so 8 minutes is an overview about Cooke). Graham Cooke teaches a dunce’s method of determining if a voice you are hearing is God’s, which is basically if the voice says something nice, it’s God, and if it speaks anger of judgement, it’s not God -and he uses a passage of the Bible to back up his claim, despite the passage proving he’s wrong. So from that foundation of quicksand, Abi builds a false teaching out of a deck of cards:
14: John Bevere teaching at the 2017 ‘Open Heavens’ Conference in which he full on lies about what Acts 1 records:
13: Kris Vallotton teaches on an “untranslatable” Greek word in the New Testament. Fortunately Kris has the skills to translate it for us, resulting in a word which magically overturns 2000 years of teaching, and informs us that the Apostle Paul thinks the idea of barring women from authority over men in church is “stupid”:
12: Bill Johnson, the pastor of Bethel Church, teaches us “everything” Jesus taught, and then reduces that “everything” down to going around doing miracles. It is extreme cherry-picking:
11: Kalley Heiligenthal performs eisegesis to instruct us, in essence, that God is most happy when you don’t follow His laws:
10: Kris Vallotton encourages Christians to get tattoos, and pretty much do whatever you want so long as whatever you do is “you”:
9: Andrew White, the former “Vicar of Baghdad” tells Bethel people his plans for reconciliation in the Middle East, which coincidentally involves doing the very things the Antichrist will do. Barmy:
8: Bill Johnson is apparently told by lots of people that Jesus’ words in Matthew 7:21-23 refer to him (the people who tell Jesus, “Lord, Lord…” and boast of doing miracles, but who won’t enter heaven). Here he tries to turn that around and say the ones who won’t enter heaven are the ones who tell him he’s a false prophet, which he achieves through painful eisegesis:
7: The infamous ‘Glory Cloud’ that appeared at Bethel Church several times (which is obviously Christmas glitter) gets explained by Danny Silk, who basically tells you if you are rational and therefore don’t believe the Christmas glitter was Jesus, then you should just “Shut up!”:
6: Danny Silk (again), teaches Bethel people about what Biblical discernment is, which he explains is the art of not discerning. He also ridicules Christians who do question (discern) things by doing an impression of a lunatic:
5: Shawn Bolz teaches Bethel people how to prophesy over others, and gives the example of when people prophesy their own good intentions rather than God’s intentions, which is basically saying that a lot of the time when you prophesy, you are wrong, despite that being the Bible’s criteria for spotting that someone is a false prophet.
4: Bill Johnson’s son Eric describes Jesus as an American idiot taking selfies and being so slow that he is taken off guard by a sarcastic woman. Bizarre:
3: Heidi Baker prophesies over the Bethelites that God is speaking to them with the voice of an eagle, and wants to give them some super-powers, and implies that God is calling the brave Americans who have travelled all across the earth for the sake of Christ are “chickens”. She does her schtick of shouting “WHOAH!” and babbling in tongues:
2: Seth Dahl relates to Bethelites one of the most ridiculous and idiotic visions I have ever heard, in which a giant angel appeared in a Bethel “cubicle” and had the name of a bank, and said it protected Bethel’s finances. Utterly stupid:
1: Brian Simmons attends Bethel and explains his reasons for making a new translation of the Bible, in which he cannot hide the financial motivation which underpinned it.